Are We Giving or Trading?

Lately this has been on my mind a lot so I figured it must be an indicator I need to write about it as well as continue to measure my own motivations continuously.  We have all heard or even felt that feeling of frustration and the question "How could they do that after all I have given them?" and yet are we truly "giving" if that is our response?  Giving, by all rights, is a gift to someone with no expectation of anything in return.  Why then, do we feel we are giving something to someone if we do, in fact, have an expectation of getting something in return even if it is a certain response?  If we are truly giving we need to release all expectation of a return.  No money back, no goods in exchange and no expectations of a certain response.  Trading is a wonderful thing as well and I certainly do not begrudge a decent trade.  I only wish to take time to look inside my heart and call others to do the same to find what our true motivation is in things.  Are we looking to trade?  Awesome!  Let's be honest with ourselves and others if that is the case.  Are we looking to give?  All the better, then truly give to someone and release all expectation of getting anything in return, even a certain response.  May we ever be grateful for all we have and are given but not expect it from anyone else so that it makes our heart smile when they do!  ;)

The Color Purple

Today I was challenged to come up with a list of things that most people would not know about me.  One of the things on my list was that I really disliked the colors pink and purple until I was around 30 years old.  I knew this would be something few knew about me as I now love the color purple and even painted my mud rig pink and purple camouflage with sparkles as you can see in the picture above. I decided to share the story of how a little girl got me to love the color purple with a passion that burns deep in my spirit.  I guess the way to start this story would be to explain why I so detested those colors to begin with.  As a young girl as far back as I could remember I experienced something we all pray our little girls never experience.  I was sexually abused.   Needless to say, I did not feel it was safe to be a girl so girly colors were just plain unpleasant to me.  Fast forward many years and God had done a major amount of healing in my life but I still did not care for girly colors and in walks my little girl who was around 9 years old carrying a gift for me.  Yes, you guess it, it was purple!  I told her it was beautiful.  What else do you say to a little girl who made you a gift?  That little girl surely had no clue why I felt how I did.  I asked her why she made it purple and she actually TOLD me it was my favorite color.  Laughing inside at the naivety of my little girl I responded "Oh really?" and at that point such wisdom spouted out of her it changed my life.....and my favorite color forever!  Without even looking up at me from her drawing she told me how purple was a girly color and I was a girl and it was also a color of royalty and I was God's princess, His daughter and so being a girl, and being God's daughter it was safe to be a girl too.  I stood there with my mouth hanging open and then I hugged her good and tight and thanked God for her and for sharing something with me through her that I so needed to hear.  So yes, purple is my favorite color...it is the color of my healing and it is a reminder every day that I am God's princess, a beloved daughter of the Most High God!  I am also the mother of a young woman that had an enormous amount of wisdom as a small girl!  I am abundantly blessed!